HIERARCHY OF NEEDS

NB : READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Sometimes I really wonder what I am doing at a B school. My belief only grows stronger as I am made aware of more and more theories and principles. My deduction is pretty straight forward now.

Simple things + Fancy names = MBA theories

Example 1;

Simple thing = you pay a lot of money

Fancy name = you are in a Business school

Outcome = you are a consultant *

* Con people + Insult people = Consultant

See. I am actually talking a lot of sense.

I have this special affinity towards one of the most famous theories. There might be so many things a B school grad may forget, but this is one thing that he or she never will. MASLOWS HIERARCHY OF NEEDS 

So, with due regards to Mr. Maslow who proposed the theory in the year 1943, the hierarchy of needs is often portrayed in the shape of a pyramid, and Blah blah blah http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs. 

Mmm.. so, my brain goes berserk when I think of this theory. I laugh to myself. So Mr. Maslow I can say one thing for sure. You were certainly heartbroken and drunk and totally suicidal when you came up with this theory. I know you would beg to differ but if only I had a time travel machine to prove my point. So, my smartass brain has this deduction :D

Simple thing = you met your girlfriend

Fancy name = Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs

Outcome = you broke up and you are looking for a new girlfriend

So, here is how everything happened. 

Long long time ago, in 1943, while the rest of the world was fighting it out, there was this nerdy geeky guy known as Abraham Maslow. He had spent most his life studying people. His friends would hang around with a lot of hot chicks and have so much fun. Maslow, at 35 was still unmarried (Some say that the script of the movie 40 year old virgin is loosely based on his life). He would feel bad, and left out of all the worldly pleasures. Fortunately, the friends were evil and infused some sense into him. Quick root-cause analysis. He needed a girlfriend. And Fast !!!!! 

Stage 1 – Back then, clubs were still the place to be to find a prospective girlfriend. So the evil-good friends took Maslow to one and got him a few drinks. Filmi way, Maslow is impressed by a few girls, including the bar tender, but hot chicks don't impress him. Wait, there is this bespectacled girl! Maslow downs another drink. He pinches and talks to himself like all psychologists do . The girl looks as geeky as I am. She seems to be lost, like I do. She seems to be single, like I do. Down another drink. Breathing becomes heavier. Maslow starts to get flashes of his future. (Objectionable content) – kids – (more objectionable content) – more kids. Cool!! This is it. This is the girl I want to be with forever and ever. The mother of my children. 

Stage 2 – in an inebriated condition Maslow goes and proposes the nerdy girl. She wasn’t in a good condition either. There was a prophecy that children were born in pairs during the 1940’s. And Maslow looked eerily similar to one Mr. Albert Einstein. So, our Ms. Fantastic totally believed in beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Thinks Maslow is Einstein. She too gets flashes of her future. Big house, big car, big family, property, wealth, etc. Who in their right state of mind would say No to the proposal? Well she was drunk. We have to assume she said a Yes which cannot be too wrong. 

Stage 3 – Mmm.. needless to say what happens next. The obvious! I meant marriage. Yeah that too was obvious. Geek meets geek. God had handpicked Ms. Fantastic for Maslow, and even though Maslow was old, their family size started inflating. It was long before the concept of family planning came in. So, they may be excused 

Stage 4 – Stage 3 had a long lasting impact on Maslow. The questions that came to his mind were really penetrating. What is that I don’t have? What is that is missing? Maslow would remember of all the good times, when he commanded respect and awe from all quarters of the society. Those were the days. This as a psychologist was obvious that Maslow had started to lose his mind, but actually he had started reading a lot of economics. He would delve into the deepest levels to find the answer. And one fine morning he comes across this Law of diminishing marginal utility!!!! It was now not-so Ms. Fantastic. 

Stage 5 – Ms. Now-not-so Fantastic. He said to himself, “Damn! If only I had not seen Hugh Hefner on that stupid magazine!”

What happened next is what happens till date. Poor guy. He would dream about all the good times that he had. He wished his evil-good friends had not provoked him into this relationship. He wished the bar did not play Take My Breath Away. Life (his past this time) again passed by him in totality. He started living life in discontentment and “only if’s”. He felt a deep pain whenever he would think of all that Hugh Hefner had and what he was deprived of. At 50, Maslow had lived his life with the now-not-so Ms. Fantastic, raised 10 children. So, filmy style he goes to the same bar, and sits at the same seat where he met Ms. Fantastic. Downs a lot of drinks. Writes a suicide note for his kids. He wanted his life to be an example of what no to do. But since he was too drunk to write anything, so he drew a triangle. 5 lines

Stage 1 – Physiological needs (food, water(drinks), sex)

Stage 2 – Safety needs (family, health, property)

Stage 3 – Love and belongingness needs

Stage 4 – Esteem needs.

Stage 5 – mmmm... I am going to kill myself, and will be in heaven. Above all of this. So.. let me call it Self Actualization. Fancy thing which no one can attain. 

See you world!! In heaven possibly! And Maslow downs one more drink. He carries a noose to hang himself in the barn. Thinking about all the good times and Hugh Hefner of course. But wait! A bespectacled girl! Looks nerdy and geeky like me. Looks as lost as I do. Chances are high. Let me try. Marna cancelled.

So, Maslow and his new-Ms Fantastic meet and they live through the 5 stages again.

Hierarchy of needs- or is it?? 

On a day like today

Free is all you gotta be

Dream dreams no one else can see

Sometimes you wanna run away

But you never know what might be coming round your way

On a day like today - The whole world could change

The sun's gonna shine

Shine thru the rain

On a day like today

You never wanna see the sun go down

You never wanna see the sun go down

Somewhere - there's a place for you

I know that you believe it too

Sometimes if you wanna get away

All you gotta know is what we got is here to stay - All the way

On a day like today - The whole world could change

The sun's gonna shine

Shine thru the rain

On a day like today - no one complains

Free to be pure - free to be sane

On a day like today

You never wanna see the sun go down

You never wanna see the sun go down

Classified Mission

Hands on the steering wheel, my heart is beating fast. My brain is working out logic at a number of teraflops per second which would put any super computer to shame. Should I or should I not?

My brain is talking to me more than ever before. I realize even it is becoming diplomatic now. Bloody hell, does the teacher feel this way when we give a may be answer in the class? Alright, still let me just listen to it for I cannot be so ungrateful to forget that it is in service for the last so many years.

Mr. Brain- Remember! The enemy is not what it looks like. There is more than meets the eye. The enemy must have secret strategies up his sleeve.

Me- Oh! Well the enemy isn’t wearing sleeved shirt, so well Mr. Brain enough of your strategies. Let us just talk it straight.

Focus! Mr. Brain starts to lose patience while I try to tell LMAO, so I resist my urge to laugh. I just listen.

Mr. Brain - Enemy is a trapezoidal looking creature.

Me- Creature? Or is it?

Mr. Brain - Wait, I am getting multiple signals. Dummy? The signals from the optic nerves seem to be sending an affirmative picture. DUMMY it is.

Me- Alright!

Mr. Brain – Height? Not too much. LOL.

Me- Weight- Oh well too much, for I can clearly see that the dummy might have a few bones missing.

Mr. Brain (to me) – Dude!! You are wicked!!!

Me – yeah tell me something I don’t know.

Mr. Brain  - by the looks of it, the dummy seems to be moving.

Me – Dude! Don’t overwork yourself. She is being pulled. She doesn’t like to walk.

Mr. Brain – my bad!! :p

Me – Okay so I am revving up. I am all set. What are the possibilities that mission will be accomplished?

Mr. Brain – ZERO !!!!!

The world crashes down on me L this was the moment that I had been waiting for. I was inspired by this 2011 movie DRIVE. It had woken up the dormant side of my evil side. I had been feeling like mini-Ghostrider. Every time I went to the loo I looked into the mirror and said “look into my eyes” and the lights flickered. I had this power in me. And now suddenly it’s all over in a second. I can’t even think of looking onto Mr. Brain. How odd would that be? I can’t even figure out where his head, ear, nose, eye.. for that matter anything was. He would not even listen to me. Oh Mr. Brain I know you are putting all these thoughts into me, so that I ignore the situation. Why? I am asking why? No more why’s otherwise you would start playing the Enigma song. 

Mr. Brain tries to reason out that I am dead as per Newtons Law of motion you are dead. 

Mr. Brain does a quick debrief 

The car is capable of doing a 100 in 15 sec => 6.7 m- sec sqr

Distance between you and the dummy= 150 m 

Applying, v2 = u2 + 2aS (initial speed u=0)

velocity at the time of impact = 44.8 m/sec

 Kinetic Energy (KE) = 0.5 x m x v2

mass of the car and me = 1200 kgs 

KE = 1206 kilo joules 

Energy cannot be created or destroyed. So, the KE from the car must be converted to KE and PE(potential energy)

Weight of the dummy = 60 kilos 

acceleration due to gravity = 9.8 m/sec

height to which you must suspend the dummy = ? 

KE of dummy + PE of dummy = KE of your car

momentum of the car = m x v = 1200 * 44.8 = 53760 N-s

impulse = p x t = 53760 x 1 = 53760 N

Considering the amount of fat deposit in the dummy, the energy will be absorbed and will be dissipated in the body. That implies, the kinetic energy is not going to be transferred. 

Newtons Law 1 - velocity of the dummy wont change even if you hit her 

Newtons Law 2 - acceleration is parallel and directly proportional to the force 

So, PE of dummy = KE of car

1206,000 = 60 x 9.8 x h

=> h = 2051.0 meters

Me (to myself) - what the.. 

Mr. Brain - Dude!! she is not a fighter plane that you want her to reach 2051 meters with an impact of 1 second. 

Me - IS THAT SO ?????? 

Mr. Brain - SO IT IS !!!

Mr. Brain continues... 

Law 3 - every action has an equal and opposite reaction. 

Mr. Brain shows me a picture of a car which had been forcefully driven into a tree. He asked me draw an analogy and proceed, since there had been many occasions I had disregarded his opinion. 

For this one time, I decide to go by what Mr. Brain had to say. 

Sometimes, it is just better to let your brain decide what needs to be done.  I would have become a star in the sky otherwise. 

NAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Mindless Rumblings - 2

Here I stand at yet another cross road of life. It wasn’t too long ago that I was coaxing myself to believe things happen for the best. All of a sudden a strange kind of cynicism and pessimism has started to engulf me. No matter how hard I try the sinking feeling is recurring. Am I the same person who believed life is in shades of black and white because it just is not possible to live a mediocre life of gray? Am I the same person who really believed in Life is what you make it?

From a very long time I believed faith has more strength than fate. I questioning myself is not out of routine. It has been after a pretty long time. What is it that I am doing wrong? I ask all this to myself to remind myself this is not what I am. I have an alter ego who helps me remind nothing lasts forever and all this is going to be over soon. Yes it seems to be at some distance owing to my frame of mind. Good that it is at a distance, for it is easier to believe that it is the shortest length between success and failure.

Am I doing the right things?

The answer is obviously – I DO NOT KNOW. This is for you to answer. But what I would like to know is that wouldn’t this have been the best any which ways? 8 out of 10 times definitely yes. 2 out 10 times maybe, bordering on the zone of a definitely no. So probably YES!! You are more or less doing the right things.

Why is that I am not getting what I want?

There is a definite time to everything. If you get something before it is supposed to reach you- its undervalued. Worst still longing for something too much may result in settling for the mediocre. So, be patient. Hold on. Believe on yourself. Have faith. If not today- then tomorrow. What is that you want? Define it again.

Most likely it is the mental limitation that is causing you to question yourself. Please remember that life is intertwined with lows and highs. And it is all in the head.  The more you force yourself into believing that it’s going wrong, the more it goes wrong. So let things settle down for themselves. Remember for something that is already happening, there is not much you can do. Patience is the key. You might have a 1000 things that you would want to do to escape the situation. But the only solution is HOLD ON. Life has been unfair at times, but you came out once. And again. And again. So, one more time does not hurt. Faith is the word. It works.

Dear Ms. Perfect

Dear Ms. Perfect,

It is beyond my comprehension as to why you are taking such a painstakingly long time to still find me. The world is such a small place to live in. That’s optimism to an extreme for there is still a continent without human habitat. I am sure that you are in existence. But where on earth are you? At least for now, I really wish the earth was flat. Straight roads and all. I have seen a lot of movies and by my reckoning, love happens on straight roads. Unfortunately for where I am now, the roads are skewed and sometimes do not even qualify as roads.

So, coming back to the point, what is taking you as much time. So, Ms. Perfect  since you have taken such a long time to ‘just’ locate me, you better make up for all of this time I am going around alone. Ya I kind of have a to-do list in place, which are non negotiable for times to come. I get this liberty (automatically) because of the turmoil and agony that I am being subject to now :P

I do not have too much to give or promise. What I can is that we are going to watch a lot of formula one races, we are going to eat out a lot, our kids are going to be like.. remains to be seen. The more you make me wait the list of non-negotiable things would only go longer. This stands as an evidence that I am thinking about you even before you are here.

So, till the time we meet.

Adios

Mindless Rumbling

Passing thoughts are not in my control. These in turn are making me type things which any sane person would qualify as mindless rumbling of words. There are just too many things. While thoughts of the last week bring in sweet and old memories back to me, time and again, I have bigger things at hand, which can be ignored for the time being. I am jobless. Yeah!! but what bothers me more is that I haven't got to see a race in over a month and a half now. The first race is still a couple of months away. The winter is already taking a toll on me, so much so that if I got to trade places with God for even a few minutes, I am definitely going to 'delete' the winter season and may be have an extended spring season. Even the thought of that feels so good. My disaster with electronics seem to have a really long lasting relationship, for the Blackberry demands to be fed a generous amount of  alternating current twice a day. Even I can live on a single meal. Suddenly, I am reminded of my co passengers in my journey back to Delhi. How glad was I to be woken up to noises that revolved around the institution of marriage today. I surely did miss home, waking up to hear my parents talk about how my next door neighbors son is more obedient than me :P 

Suddenly I am reminded of few small things that have happened. Sure make me smile. I am reminded of all the fun that I had being accomplice to one of my friends trying to woo a lady. Long time. I have made good friends who I am very proud of. And I am still continuing to meet good people and wish I met them a little earlier. For the time is too less. 2012 is the year when everything ends. I really have a secret admiration for the prophecy of the Maya's. I would really love to live to see what goes wrong. South Africa is supposedly the place to be if at all you fancy your chances of survival. Well I would hopefully be earning by that time, but would rather go seek redemption by going to see the formula one race at Abu Dhabi. Ya may be get to drive a fancy car. I thought of getting married before the world comes to an end, but then.. its so much fun this way. All this probably being induced just because of the fact that I am listening to Chasing Cars. Suits me perfectly. 

I have absolutely no idea what has come up. Ah the track has changed to Fireflies. Perfect! I love this feeling of being with myself. This quiet disconnect. I am craving to do things that I love to do. I would give my life away. I feel like such an insomniac :D :D I'd like to make myself believe, that planet earth turns SLOWLY. Its hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I am asleep. Cause everything is never as it seems. 

Maladies of Life

The maladies of life never cease to amaze me. For all I know, the past few months of my life have been like a psychedelic blur. It has been quite some time now that I have seemingly lost control of my life. Not something that I am complaining of. I am suddenly longing for more.

Nothing matters to me more than just living life now. Enjoying the moment for that is never going to come back again. For once, I want to live without inhibitions, without any regrets, without too much thought going into any action.  So no matter whatever crap fate has intended to dish out to me, I am gladly game for it. 


There are more than enough people who would love to hate me. The state of mind that I am in -  indifferent to whatever is there around me. And I could not care less. At times, I feel it is okay because there has been too much happening around me, without any outcome.  I need something to happen. Good or Bad. Alike. I want it to stir my dormant life again and get me up and running. 

Life is what you make of it

Maybe it was just the name of the book that appealed to me. Life is what you make it. I could not agree more. The plot of the book was as anticipated. No surprises. Close to lines of The Shawshank Redemption; only that the character gets to spend time behind the walls of a mental hospital and not a prison.

Well sometimes it makes me wonder is it only the Indians who are so prone to dejection in an event of rejection. Ten folds if it is being spurned away by some lady. The feeling of insecurity has creeped in so much into our lives. It has just made us overtly irrational. When I started reading the book certain characters made me smile. Today, as I finished reading the book a cold feeling engulfs me. Makes me think, do I owe my life to anyone else other than myself? Few impulsive actions and scars remain for an entire life time. Yet, I firmly believe that time is the best healer. I do not advocate irrationality and all the actions of all the characters oozed of it. Sometimes in life, you just have to accept. Forget. Forgive. Move on. You just cannot let the past hold you in captivity.

The only thing that I would possibly take away from this book would be that in order to climb new mountains, you need to descend from the ones that you have already climbed.

Faith has immense credibility. Faith is all that you need to have- to change your fate. Amen!

Liberation !!

My brain and heart are seemingly disconnected and have no direct or indirect relationship. That is something I know for a fact now. Well I would blame that to being exposed to Business Research Methods. Quantitative or Qualitative? My mind is playing games with my intellect. But the heart is no less. The moment I start to think, my heart starts pumping less blood to my brain. The feeling of being blank and hapless surrounds me. Ah my brain can't be such a jerk to accept defeat by a heap of muscle. Tit for tat. I start being less rational that I would otherwise be. This being a regular situation from the last one month, I now stand at the edge of being liberated. 


I was born the day the Mt. Everest was conquered. It takes a lot of nerves to run a rampage through my thinking system. Oh well they are not fool proof. Self made, they have loopholes. Not that it is for the first time that the weak points have been located and been worked on. I still continue to live a life with no regrets. No matter how big my last fuck-up has been, I look forward to the next one. And honestly, for a very long period of time a disaster of good proportions had been waiting to happen. I do not exactly call it as a disaster. For the sake of others, yes it was. For me, it was just an experience. A step closer to liberation. 


For one month, I was left surprised as to how fragile relationships are. Faith is all I see in relationships. I don't believe it when people say there is always a shade of gray. Hell NO. It's either a black or a white. There are no intermediaries. Trust for me comes much later. So, at a time when my heart and brain could have been a part of the family called human body, I still remember I would forgive but not forget. Acceptance comes to me pretty easily. Not any more. It would all be fine, not until somebody would force me into questioning my faith on someone. I have loved to see myself evolve over the years. For me, right now, it is an absolute insult to question my integrity and faith. This is what I stand for. I make my choices. I decide what I do in my life. And for the people I have faith in, I could go all the way to the end. Even if it meant I am singled out to criticism. I can't be bothered less for criticism and complaints anyways. Even though right now, my brain is getting an optimum supply of oxygen rich blood, I fail to recall when was the last time I actually bothered and got bogged down by someone criticizing me. 


I would like to thank a few things for being good and bad to me alike. 


Life. You are still a bitch sometimes. Stop behaving like a cassette player. Rewind - Play - Rewind. Honestly, I can take it no longer. It becomes cliched after a little while and then you want variety. Why do you create these wonderful characters asking you questions for which even God could find no answer. I am but human.  I do not want to become Bruce who would be endowed with the powers of Almighty. I am a happy, 26 year old, single individual who intends to get married before the world ends on 21st December 2012. Please be good enough to let me enjoy the last few months of my life. 


Compulsive Dissatisfaction Disorder. You are one classical epidemic that is on the rise these days. I cannot thank you enough for all the hard times that you are giving to me in plenty. Please do not assume I am enjoying it and I need more of it. You are really contagious. Please stay away from me.


Assumptions and conclusions. Fellows! you are not twins. Nor are you a couple. So please stop behaving like one. Even though laws have been liberalized, for the better of the world, we would still love to see you to stay away from each other. You are just not meant to be with each other. You are disaster. I hold a lot of awe and respect for the both of you. But as individual entities. So stop hanging around together. You will do the world a lot of good. 


Faith. You are all that I have. Highly indebted to you. I am glad you have been my guardian angel throughout. I am very proud I did not let go of you even when there were a lot of detractors. Might as well continue to be good to me and be my shining star. 


Pride. You make a good pair with Faith. You still remain to be one of my biggest possessions. 


Friends. Special mention to few people for whom I am what I am. In a nice way and otherwise as well. 


Mom Dad (relationship of 26 yrs and counting) - I realized things late, but I did. Better late than never. 


Oindril Purkait (21 years and counting) - You are an ass. But I can excuse all that for the 21 years of time that we have had. You have only evolved into a bigger ass (Lol.. pun not intended). Thanks for being there like FOREVER !!


Neha (duration unknown and not counting) - No matter what. You taught me a lot. Life. The biggest lesson. 


Pradeepan - Kickass!! 


Garima Singh - It is a privilege to have known you. Thank you for all that you do. Words would not be enough for plenty of reasons. You're really special. 4AM friend concept and Ruby Tuesday's :) remember the latter especially. Thank you for making me shed one inhibition :P


My sisters (Megha / Pinu) - I know this is the least expected thing from me, but fine. It had to come some day.


My brothers (all of you) - I sponsor your first dates. And I fight for your love marriages. So go ahead all of you. 


My Chachi and Bua's - I know you still consider me as a kid. And I love it :)


All of you are very very special to me, and my faith and trust rests upon you. I could not have asked for more in life. With you guys around, I have all that I can ever ask for.


Liberated !