T minus 4

14^th February. Who needs another day to love? My Facebook home page is filled with updates from apparently everyone on my friend list. Be it single, in a relationship, it’s complicated, engaged or married. The build up to today has been funny. Rose day, chocolate day, hug day, kiss day and what not day. The expenses must already be so high in these pre-events (read trailers) leading up to today. Wonder what more could a couple give to each other today? Everything has already had a day before.

Today was just another day, only for the exception that I spoke a lot. A lot of crap. Things that made absolutely no sense even if you try to rephrase the words and form a new sentence. I continue to be the butt of jokes during any presentation and I could not care less about that now. I am enjoying the attention. The teacher enjoys it too. My class participation marks are sealed. Definitely! I fell in love with this lady in white who was visible to me for a cumulative time of 45 seconds. I can’t stop thinking of her. Was she my Ms. Perfect? I don’t know :P

Now this is going to be good. I returned to do something I love to. Went back to the kart track. Everything was the same. I start last and I go on to lap everyone around in a span of 4 laps. Do I really drive that good or does everybody else suck at what I am good at? I can feel my pride and ego being elevated to a new height. Oh what a feeling when you walk out of the kart and people stare at you and you walk by without paying much attention. I love that. Thoroughly!

Knowing not what to do next, I head for MG Road. Ah MG in Gurgaon doesn’t mean Mahatma Gandhi. It means Mehrauli-Gurgaon road. I could not believe it when I came to know about it. The scene was totally different today.

The crowd seemed to be like globs of yellow and red moving in some random pattern. Reminds me of the time we studied of atoms in an excited state. I was the lone single atom trying to dodge incoming attack by randomly moving molecules bonded together by some orientation called Love. If the Guinness Book of World Records were to be invited today, I am sure, a new record would have been made. The number of couples trying to play parent to each other and feed each other ‘with their own hands’. Even though they were celebrating some foreign festival, if I may call that, they were truly Indian when it came to showing love. Another way of assuring, ya baby I can be a good parent too, so please let’s look beyond this day and plan for our future. Fortunately I did not collide with any of the energized molecules during my course of walk on the road. Phew!! But honestly, it feels good that there is so much left to look forward to in life. All these small things make life worth living. The fun. The joy. The fear of getting caught.. all of it.

Even though my mind is all restless, I loved the day for today I loved myself. 

T minus 5

Even though I am a petrol head and have a fetish for automobiles, the less privileged (read 2 wheeler things) do not seem to interest me. I've never had a good relationship with the fairer sex and (the less privileged) bikes. My memory doesn't fail me, for I can clearly remember that it only the 2nd time I had ridden a scooter and I had ripped open the right hand side of the vehicle. And it continues to be bad since then.

2001 I had my thigh ripped open while the vehicle suffered no injuries :P

2002 I do not know how many times I fell while rolling my father's bike into the garage :P

2003 I still do not know how I could fall while riding on a perfectly table flat road :P

I think my friend Oindril could throw some light on my perpetual "falling down on my knees" tendency.

Oh I think the bad relationship dates further back. I fell from my bicycle to break my arm in the winter of 97.

2007 I am left with a broken leg and shoulder. No doubts. Had to be a 2 wheeler.

I speak all this for I had this phobia of riding a 2 wheeler. Each time I rode one, I felt someone would run over me.

Day 3 of my new found life and I must have driven a good 4.5 hours continuously. I don't mind a painful back or a senseless bum. Yes I mind the dust and the traffic to a great extent though. All that mattered was what I did.

But that does not in any way mean that I still love a 2 wheeler. No way, nothing comes close to something on 4 wheels

T minus 6

For quite some time now I have been fighting to overcome this invisible barrier that I am faced with. Getting defensive isn’t sometimes the wisest of options. It’s much easier if things are just let to happen. Does not remotely mean surrendering to fate though. Of late, I have been feeling it is much easier to just submit to situations. No explanations given. No thoughts put in. Just surrender, and accept whatever the outcome is. At the end of it all, what is that I do? More or less every time I end up watching the documentary on Ayrton Senna. I have lost count of the number of times I have already seen it. Each frame, each statement seems to be etched in my memory but still I watch it and each time I do so, I feel different from what I was some time ago.

I have been guarding my life in some strange demeaning manner. I have no idea what on earth could possibly go wrong. The harder I try to consolidate, the worse it gets. So I have decided to just let it go. I am going to find out what worst could happen ultimately. And I am yet again going to make it through. Life will typically resume the sine wave pattern. It will happen at its pace, but it will happen.

For the time being, I have decided I am living one day at a time. I am not looking at life beyond the next 7 days, for even a week is a terribly long time to live. I am going to live these 7 days in a way I have been longing to live. It’s already day 2 today.

Day 1 – a day I went out taking pictures. An entire day! For one day I felt I needed no one to make myself happy. Had a long walk in the evening with my cousin! I’d have spoken about 1000 words in the entire day but I was happy being myself.

Today.. Day 2 – Yeah! Today was something to talk about.  I needed this bad. Really bad. I needed to drive something on 4 wheels. With a job interview lined up on Thursday, this was the most important in my to-do list. I had been thinking of going to the go-kart track from a long time, but it could not have been at a better time than today. I feel Schumacher-ish while I start to describe my feelings now J because I started last of the grid. No wait. This feels like Senna. I go on to lap all the drivers on the grid, except for THE ONE.

If I were to say anything about what happened, it was so similar to the race at Suzuka 1989, when Senna and Alain Prost collided in the championship deciding race. Senna (I) seeing an opportunity on the right hand corner, took the lunge. Prost(The One) immediately closed the door and moved off the racing line. Senna tried to avert a collision, but it was already too late. Senna was carrying too much speed into the corner. Senna’s front wing hit Prosts sidepods, thus making it impossible to lap the entire field J wooah! It was competitive.

I am lucky to have a few people around who I can reach up to any time I want. And to these people I owe a lot of things. So, it don’t matter if they still make me realize that I am going to be single on this Valentine’s Day (yet again), I’d still manage to be with them. I would not even crib if they would make me walk for 5 kilometres. It’s all a part of the moments that are making my day. So, yes this goes down as one of the best evenings. I had people who I adore and care for, and I could not ask for more. God bless you guys!

And I am really looking forward to doing something on Day 3 now J